Thursday, December 30, 2010

Reminders to me from Jordan

Like many households, we've got some coughs and aches and pains over here. Tries patience, makes tasks feel bigger than they are.

I was in the kitchen, ready to unload and reload dishwasher, opened it up to find they were all dirty still! Agh. Counters already full, I didn't even have room to empty the dirty stuff! Frustrating! I began my "quiet" complaining.

My son in the living room, as always is talking away to me, unknowing if I'm listening or not. Then " mom, you HAVE to see this"

"Jordan you know I'm busy in the kitchen right now, you can bring your book in here"

"No.. you MUST come and see this star wars set" (he's reading the lego Star wars collection encylopedia)

"Jordan, I'm busy in the kitchen, and having a very hard time"


"Jordan, I'm having a hard time, it is not kind of you to ignore someone having a hard time and insist they come pay attention to you. If you want me to come look, You will first need to either - offer to help the person in need,offer words of sympathy or an offer to hug it out. And I returned to the kitchen.

"MOM - what's a word of sympathy?"

And that stopped me. Once again, I'd forgotten ! Assumed he knew what to say, that he'd heard me say it and knew how to apply it.

For years, I'd helped him thru lifes situations, giving him the words, saying them out loud so he could repeat them and learn them, why did i think that was done?

thank you Jordan! I am in awe of your loving heart. As soon as I'd mentioned there was something you COULD do to help, you asked how in your own way. You wanted to help me, I'd just forgotten to give you the tools to do so.

"Jordan - words of sympathy would be something like "I'm sorry your having such a hard time right now" And so he repeated it back and gave me a hug too!

Thank you son, I do feel better now. Thanks for the reminders.

Monday, October 11, 2010

I love that he'll be predictable

Jordan's away, and the "I miss him" feelings are growing. Days are brighter with his hugs. He's been away this long weekend and he'll be back in 12 hours.
6 AM.

That's early for both of us. In our "normal" life, he wakes at 7AM, stumbles in my room, wakes me and we snuggle til we're done ~ hugging, pillowfighting, laughing our good mornings.

I Love knowing in 12 hours he'll be home, and he'll hug his dad bye, and run to my room to snuggle, til we're done.

Love him.

Update - as predicted... he did! I grabbed the camera to share with you.

Friday, October 8, 2010

I Love Snuggling

I feel bad for some of my friends. They also have boys nearing their tweens, they're 8,9, going on 10, and those boys are growing up and going their own way already. I am grateful that time is not here for me yet. (*I'm also grateful that I'm open to the fact that the time might not come.. 85% of autistic people live with parents/caregivers)

My son and I awake at 7 each day, actually he wakes at exactly 7 each day, comes to my room and wakes me up as he crawls in with me.

"Good morning mommmy" and we lay there and snuggle. We talk about dreams we had, plans for the day, fun we had yesterday. We hug and we laugh, hug some more, laugh some more. Sometimes we have tickle fights, sometimes I have to listen to another Mario commentary, but I don't mind. Sometimes we lay there for 10 minutes, sometimes a whole hour passes! And.. not to make you jealous.. but we also have night time snuggles/reading time too!

I think of my friends, how their hugs are declining. Their kids want to run out the door and away from them, more often than they want to be with them.

I couldn't handle it. I think. I can only know what my world has given me, what I've become accustomed to.

Perhaps if Jordan wasn't "Jordan" I'd be a soaps watcher, perhaps he'd be in a public school, perhaps we'd both eat at Mcdonalds (god forbid) perhaps we'd both be 800 poundsand love corn dogs, and not know how great gardening is ~ Perhaps WalMart, presciptions, fast food, gas guzzling vehichles, and personal care products!!!!!

Even worse...perhaps we'd never have experienced what a close parent/child relationship is and how amazing it can be.

I wonder alot now, how different my life would be, had my child been born NT (neurologically typical) I honestly, think it would not be this good!

I hope for you, parent of the NT.. that you can hold onto that love, that it remains close to you and that even if they run out the door more often than not, that you can still feel the love I get to feel every day. I hope your child stops to hug you on the way out..

Another reason why I love Autism <3